


Brutal Love

by outoftheashes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coda, Crying, Destiel that doesn't forget Sam, Episode Tag, Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, First Kiss, Fix-It, I Made Myself Cry, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, Season/Series 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 19:45:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17966858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheashes/pseuds/outoftheashes
Summary: Cas isn't going to sit back and watch his family shatter. It's time to have another talk with Dean. And this time, he's going to make sure Dean listens.





	Brutal Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pherryt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/gifts).



> Written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo. 
> 
> Square Filled: Cry Into Chest.

“I hit him, Cas, I fucking…” Sam's voice trails off, breath catching in his throat. “He wants me to let him go. Dean wants me to _kill_ him.”

Cas reaches out and takes Sam's hand in his own, squeezing gently. “I'll talk with him again.”

“If he won't listen to me, what makes you think he'll listen to you?”

It's not quite true. Dean is here _because_ Sam can't let him go yet. Clearly, Dean's capable of some form of listening.

Cas wets his lips. “If you really want to know, I'll tell you. I don't think you do, though.”

Sam laughs but there's no humor in it. “There really isn't anything you can say that'll surprise me. I've known about your feelings for _years_ now.”

“We're getting off topic, Sam,” Cas says softly.

Sam nods. “Right. Yeah. Uh… maybe we should all drink a few beers together? Then you can pull him aside for a private conversation. I don't know if I can be totally alone right now.”

“That works. Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?” Sam's wiping his eyes and nose, trying to stuff his feelings down, Cas can tell. It's heartbreaking.

“It's going to be okay.”

“You can only say that if Dean decides to live. None of this 'if that day comes’ crap.”

“He will when I'm through with him.”

 

* * *

 

 

It's the middle of the night and they're having a picnic. Beer. Pizza. They're on blankets and looking up at the stars and the special blackness beyond them that comes from not being surrounded by light bulbs. It makes the stars shine brighter. Too bad Sam's missing it. He's dead to the world, head against Cas's shoulder. Dean's on Cas's other side, where he belongs.

“What you said earlier…”

Dean freezes. “About what? I said a lot of things.”

Cas wrinkles his nose at the taste of the beer and sets it down. “You sure have. And lately they've been foolish.”

“Cas-”

“Let me speak.”

Dean sighs and glances at Sam, who's still asleep.

“I don't enjoy the implication that the only way I can be your friend is if I don't try to stop you. If I agree to _killing_ you.”

“Cas, please-”

Cas glares at Dean. His love. The one he's wanted for years now, thanks to Jimmy who taught him what love was. It's brutal and he can't get enough. “Be quiet. You sit there and _listen_ . You asked if I thought it'd be easy for you. Well, the answer is of _course_ not. But do you understand what it'll do to me? To _Sam_?” Cas's voice cracks and he nudges Dean's arm. “It'll ruin us. Your suicidal plan will destroy our family. I can't have that.”

“The two of you will get along just fine without me.”

“Is that what you think?” Cas shakes his head and turns carefully, laying Sam out on the blanket so he's flat on his back. Then he faces Dean once more. “You're wrong. Sam will self-destruct and _I'll_ be left trying and failing to pick up the pieces. Then I'll lose you both -”

“Don't say that,” Dean says, tears in his voice.

Cas can't back down. Won't. He needs to get it through Dean's head, no matter the cost. “It's true. If you die, if you go into the Ma'lak box, Sam will die too.”

“That's really unfair, Cas. Pulling that card.”

“This whole damn thing is unfair, Dean.”

“Yeah. I don't know what to say.”

“Say you'll fight! Don't give up, no matter what. Say you'll stay. Don't make me say goodbye.”

Dean leans against Cas's chest and starts to cry. They're sobs that shake his whole being. “I don't want to say goodbye either. Believe me.”

Cas cards his fingers through Dean's short hair. “Then don't. Stay with me.”

“Cas, it doesn't work like that.” The tears are still coming. They make Cas's heart ache.

“I can't lose you. Not when…” Cas sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “I never got to tell you how I feel about you.”

“How…” Dean breathes deep. Well, as deeply as he can with his face flush against Cas's chest. “How you feel about me?”

“You really don't know, do you?”

“No, Cas. I ain't a mind reader, so spit it out.”

Cas kisses the top of Dean's head. “I'm in love with you. Obviously.”

The words don't have the desired effect - Dean cries _harder._

“Dean! What's wrong?”

“You fucking asshole! Why tell me _now?_ You're gonna make me take _this_ into the box?”

“Oh no.” Cas lifts Dean's chin. His eyes are beautiful even while red-rimmed and heavy with tears. “I'm telling you in hopes you'll want to _live_. I'm telling you in hopes that this isn't goodbye.”

“I guess I don't have much of a choice, huh? Between you and Sam, you guys won't let me quit.”

“There's always a choice. We just want you to choose _us.”_

Dean's lips tremble and the tears start to spill once more. “Cas.”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Usually, when Cas fantasizes about this moment, he's far more rough. Taking what he wants. What they _both_ want. That won't work in reality. He can't fuck Dean like his life depends on it. Dean needs to be handled with care. So Cas drags his lips across Dean's, tongue seeking entrance inside Dean's mouth.

Dean lets him in easily. It's not long before Dean is crawling into Cas's lap. “Fuck… where did you learn how to do that? No, wait, don't tell me,” Dean breathes between kisses.

“Guys! I'm right here,” Sam complains and sits up. “What the hell?”

“How long have _you_ been awake?” Dean asks, making no move to get off of Cas's lap.

“Long enough,” Sam pouts.

“Pervert!”

Sam frowns at Dean hard. Even in the dead of night, his bitchface is easily seen. “I am not!”

“If you watched us kiss, you are _kind_ of a pervert,” Cas helpfully supplies. “It's okay. I won't judge you too harshly.”

Sam rolls his eyes and grabs another beer. “Just don't have sex out here, okay? We're in the middle of nowhere and I'd have a hard time getting away unless I stole the car.”

“You can't tell me what to do! I'm an adult!”

“He kind of can.”

“Not you too, Cas.”

Cas smiles. “As a matter of fact, yes. Me too. Sex can wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos give me life. :)


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